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"Can you kill me, please?"

I must have looked startled because her expectant gaze saddened a bit.

"I'm sorry. What?"

"Can you kill me?" Her face brightened as she repeated the morbid probe.

Confused, I couldn't help but notice her rather familiar clothes. Faded pink jeans, knock-off Converse shoes. Little black hoodie with a torn right sleeve.

"You just looked a bit angry and I figured you'd be the best person to ask."

I stood next to the bench. My backpack dug into my shoulder and I shrugged it off. It'd be awhile before the next bus came anyway.

"Why?"

She looked down the street. The dim lights barely revealed the closed shops and leaf strewn sidewalks. A short breeze caused the dead landscaping out front to rustle gently but now, it seemed slightly ominous.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked." Her voice was hollow and even though she was turned away, I could sense the hint of disappointment.

Sighing, I sat on the other side of the bench. Pausing for a minute, I glanced up at the mostly hidden stars. The light pollution made it harder to make out their pinpricks but I managed to spot a few.

"There's the big dipper," I lamely pointed to the stellar collection. The bell on her necklace jingled as she also looked up.

"Ya know," I continued. "Whenever I'm feeling worthless or insignificant, I always look at the night sky. Because it always reminds me that I'm right."

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw her frown. Her blue eyes narrowed with confusion.

"I don't get it."

Glancing up behind me, the tree branches blocked further investigation.

"It reminds me that I actually am insignificant. That's how we're supposed to be. It's not wrong or crazy. It's actually very realistic."

I leaned back on the bench causing it to creak. A few more stars had survived the glare of the lights. Both of us watched them in silence.

"So..." She looked at me, jingling. "Even if we were to die..."

"The stars would continue on. They don't need us to burn in space just like these trees don't need us to grow. They live for themselves and don't need us telling them how hot to fuse elements or how deep to stretch their roots."

After another silence, she laughed slightly. "Aren't you supposed to, I don't know, try to talk someone out of dying if they mention it?"

I couldn't help but grin, "Is that what you want me to do?"

She leaned back. Her small frame barely caused the bench to shift. "No. I guess I really don't."

Now smiling, I watched the leaves stirring in the deserted street. "I never liked it when people told me what to do. Their opinions don't matter."

I glanced over at her. She was playing with the torn edge of her sleeve. Her black painted nails were cracked and chipped.

"So...does your opinion matter?" The blue eyes still looked a bit confused.

"I don't know. If you think it does, then it does," I glanced back up at the deepening sky. A few of the streetlights had switched off and the glare had receded.

"Each of those stars up there," I nodded to the expanding collection, "is vast light-years away from the next. They're all different yet on a fundamental level, they're all made up of the same stuff. They don't even tell each other how hot to burn so they're hardly concerned with what we do."

The girl brought her legs up onto the bench and hugged her knees. Her eyeliner traced eyes contemplated the void above us.

Resting my chin on my hand, I gazed up as well. The tiny specks of light faded in and out slowly, almost lazily. Unconcerned with who watched and admired them.

"Still want me to kill you?" I looked over at her.

She leveled my gaze with hers, "Don't tell me what to do."

Laughing softly, we enjoyed the vastness in silence until a bus rolled up to the stop. The number wasn't mine but I was no longer concerned.

The girl sprang up from the bench and stopped on the first step. The bus driver looked less than amused by her energy so late at night. Over her shoulder, the blue eyes looked at me one last time.

"I'm glad you missed your bus," she called. With that the doors closed and the air lock brakes pushed away fallen leaves.

I watched it until it turned out of sight. Leaning back on the bench, I was greeted by my own insignificance before the speckled void.

"I am too, kid. I am, too."
I hate the Written Revolution's rules, I really do. I want to know what people really think about this piece, not some weird constructive criticism about paragraph structure or something equally technical.

I'll be honest, the more I read this, the more I hate it.
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Daily Deviation

Given 2012-04-17
:iconvalentine-summer:
Valentine-Summer Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2014  Hobbyist Photographer
I liked this a long time ago and just reading it again reminded me why I liked it the first time.
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:iconxeonartomega:
XeonartOmega Featured By Owner Oct 24, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
Ever since I was young I had studied stars and outer space with a deep fascination with it and honestly, the whole significant/insignificant stuff never even crossed my mind. This story was really deep though. A thousand souls, a thousand stars, a thousand universes can all blow up but regardless of size or power, we're all the same. Going about our cycles, events moments and processes. Old stories end, some are forgotten, and new stories begin in an endless cascade.  
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:iconrumblephil:
Rumblephil Featured By Owner Jun 21, 2013  Student Writer
Then I won't give you technical stuff.

It's funny. I can still remember what wanting to die feels like. And I will for a long time to come. When I look at this, it reminds me of myself; my own shallow desires to find a reason to live, my own indecisiveness at trying to find out if I really mattered, or if I didn't.

I used to look at the stars too, and I cursed them. I cursed them all, and their vastness, the undeniable Infinity that I could barely grasp the concept of, based on what I saw, those damn huge-ass motherfucking stars, they never seemed to care, whether or not I actually wanted to die or not.

But eventually, after asking so long the same damn question, "what's it all worth, in the end?" I realized; in the vast Infinity, in all the possible parallel universes that are bound to exist beyond ours, or very far away, inside our own universe, if it is infinite, nothing matters. Not even those stars, the lives and death that they see, or anything. Nothing will last forever. Everything that is will one day, not be.

It isn't a sad truth, really, it simply is. Then why live? Why live if that's all there is to it? If only there was something after it! Wouldn't that be great? Wouldn't immortality solve the problem of insignificance? Not really, but if you could live forever, as a soul or not, then, what you did, you could always be around to repeat it, there could always be people around to remember you, then it wouldn't be worthless... But humans die.

If you want to know, a question came to mind when I read the girl's words; "If you wanna die, why then did you make yourself pretty?" It's a simple question, really, with no real answer, though.

If I wanted to die, why didn't I kill myself? I know not why even now, but I thought that, maybe, if just maybe, if I wait and see, something might happen. Something might change. Something might change me. I might see things differently. But that lack of will, and of significance isn't something I can patch up by myself. The Infinity outside of myself is too vast for me to ever forget about it. It is there, anywhere I may look, and in everything I touch.

So then, I will ask you, "Why do you hate the text? Why does it matter to you, who so clearly know that not much, in the end, will have mattered? Why do you care about what I have told you? And why did I care?"
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:iconsweetsandcharades:
SweetsAndCharades Featured By Owner Mar 19, 2013
A part of me likes it. :)
Another part of me wants to scream a Doctor Who quote :shakefist:
:clap:
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:iconsanglante-melodie:
sanglante-melodie Featured By Owner Mar 20, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
A quote from the Doctor? =D Yes plz!
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:iconsweetsandcharades:
SweetsAndCharades Featured By Owner Apr 2, 2013
-"Who's she?"
-"Nobody important."
-"Nobody important? Blimey, that's amazing. You know that in nine hundred years of time and space and I've never met anybody who wasn't important before."

Nobody is insignificant! :)
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:iconstormbringer23:
StormBringer23 Featured By Owner Mar 13, 2013
I liked it.

Don't tell me what to do.
Reply
:icondailylitdeviations:
DailyLitDeviations Featured By Owner Mar 12, 2013
Your wonderful literary work has been chosen to be featured by =DailyLitDeviations in a news article that can be found here: [link] Congratulations on your DD!

Be sure to check out the other artists featured and show your support by :+fav:ing the News Article. Keep writing and keep creating.
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:iconshinpanx:
ShinpanX Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Really good. The first line instantly made me like this.
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:icondubstepwraith:
DubstepWraith Featured By Owner Aug 29, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Please continue this story!
Reply
:iconcmcvs:
cmcvs Featured By Owner Jul 13, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
I am not gonna lie here, this is the first text I actually read and liked on Deviantart, not that I normally read texts anyway. But this piece was really nice and heart touching. I really want to hear the rest of the story. I know that you'll say: some stories are meant to be unfinished or discontinued; but this, this one must continue! Keep writing it further and I will follow and read the rest. I actually liked both characters eventhough we did not learn much about them. Please think about it!
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:iconshaiper6:
shaiper6 Featured By Owner May 16, 2012
ever read robin hob?
Reply
:iconsanglante-melodie:
sanglante-melodie Featured By Owner May 20, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Never heard of them.
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:iconrumblephil:
Rumblephil Featured By Owner Jun 21, 2013  Student Writer
I think he/she misspelled Robin Hood.
Reply
:iconmoonkidd:
Moonkidd Featured By Owner Apr 21, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
That was amazing.
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:iconkeegantheawesome:
KeeganTheAwesome Featured By Owner Apr 19, 2012
This almost brought me to tears, just thinking about why the poor girl wants to die and why she feels content with being insignificant compared to the stars.

Thank you.
Reply
:iconrumblephil:
Rumblephil Featured By Owner Jun 21, 2013  Student Writer
Have you also wondered why she should want to live in the first place? When you want to die, and you realize it doesn't matter that you want to or not, it doesn't give you a reason to live, but it takes away your reason to die. When that happens, you stay alive. You do what you find necessary to stay alive, and you watch. You look at the world and its people, and you wonder "how do they not know? how can they be so purposeful about insignificant things, like cutting the grass, dressing fancy, burying the dead, cleaning, when in the end, after enough time, no one will live to remember them, and their ancestors? why can they not understand how meaningless they are?"

Eventually, you realize why, but I might not spoil you the answer so fast... Okay, I will.

It's because it doesn't matter. Either it doesn't matter to them what the influence on the cosmos they have is, or they don't realize they have none. But either way, it doesn't matter. If it doesn't matter that you should live or die, then it also doesn't matter that you should know it or not, your purpose. I like the word eventually. And eventually, you either forget, or you force yourself to think about something else, and live anyway, by the moment, and you enjoy it as much as you can, because there's nothing else to do than enjoy what you can of life.
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:iconkeegantheawesome:
KeeganTheAwesome Featured By Owner Jun 22, 2013
Exactly.
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:iconpaintstrip:
PaintStrip Featured By Owner Apr 19, 2012
i love that when reading that i realized that your absolutly right XD haha no need to worrie about anything thats amazing and i loved it XD
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:iconahsttraotee:
AhstTraotee Featured By Owner Apr 19, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Wow, this is beautiful. Kinda dark at first, but the end made me smile. Nice work!
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:icontopec:
topec Featured By Owner Apr 18, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
The narrator is female?
I thought there was a small girl and an old man in this story...
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:iconsorbetberry:
SorbetBerry Featured By Owner Apr 17, 2012  Hobbyist
love it! very nice!
also, I don't think the narrator sounds too female... in fact when I was reading it I was actually picturing a guy XD
congrats on the DD!
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:iconwhy-did-kenji-die:
Why-did-Kenji-die Featured By Owner Apr 17, 2012
managed so spot a few. you mean to instead of so?
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:iconsaya1984:
Saya1984 Featured By Owner Apr 17, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
The narrator seems male to me simply because if I were looking for someone to kill me, I'd be a lot more likely to approach some burly man than a woman. Stereotypes, you know?
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:iconfirestars-hunter:
firestars-hunter Featured By Owner Apr 17, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Wow... that's really powerful! No joke! I always loved a good short story...(BTW: the narrator sounds more male to me...)
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:icondarth-sparrowhawk:
Darth-Sparrowhawk Featured By Owner Apr 17, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
You ask if the narrator seems too female, but before I read your comment I didn't even think that! I thought it sounded more male, so I don't think there's anything you can do on that front.
Excellent story telling.
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:iconapplausejunkie:
ApplauseJunkie Featured By Owner Apr 17, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Very very nice. And I thought the narrator was male the whole time. There was something about their attitude and speech pattern that seemed a little more masculine. But it wasn't too overt. Very nicely done on that.
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:iconprismgal:
Prismgal Featured By Owner Apr 17, 2012  Student Writer
beautiful! this piece made me think; something that sometimes our generation doesnt want to do but i enjoy. That was really cool how you could do that...thank you!
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:iconanikari:
Anikari Featured By Owner Apr 17, 2012
Beautiful writing! I love it when people create moody things that don't dwell in angst, but rather create something beautiful and artistic out of it. I also liked how understated it was - I think a quiet conversation like that is really appealing to read in the midst of lots of other works that deal with the same theme, but in a much more physical way.
I'm not a good person to ask about the tree analogy, because I love trees and metaphors about trees so I will always think that more of them is better. xD But in all honesty, I thought the simple and direct way you have it now is perfect!
And I actually envisioned the narrator as a boy. In fact, I was absolutely convinced of it. I had to stop to think about it before I realized you didn't actually specify the gender, so I guess you smoothed that over pretty well. :) (I admit my interpretation of the gender stems from the inner appeal to me of a boy and a girl talking about stuff like this together, and I think it's cool that you left that up to the viewer to decide!)

I really like this. Brief and sweet. It draws me into the idea without losing me in a mire of wordy description. Well done!
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:iconmagpie-poet:
magpie-poet Featured By Owner Apr 17, 2012
It's an interesting way to look at it. Insignificant in the big scheme, we all are totally agree there. But I'm not sure I ever it comforting.
Reply
:iconthe-kings-pawn:
the-kings-pawn Featured By Owner Apr 17, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I think the tree bit is well done. How the stars are seperate from us and "put us in our place" in the universe seems more important/dramatic/striking. I actually assumed the narrator as a male. Make of that what you will :)

It's a good story
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:icondjake:
Djake Featured By Owner Apr 17, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Finally, someone gets it! ^_^
I presumed the protagonist (though, as they don't take part in the conflict, maybe "narrator" is the better term) was a young male. Then again, that might just be my psyche imposing its own order on it. Looking back again, I can see (and I like) the ambiguity.
Gods, that was wordy... Good story! :XD:
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:iconwaterlightfading:
WaterlightFading Featured By Owner Apr 17, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Wow! well written! great job! Simple, yet effective! ^^

and actually, i imagined the speaker as a male. ;) so no, the main character didnt seem to female to me.
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:iconrusshing99:
Russhing99 Featured By Owner Apr 17, 2012
Very soothing, good job.
Reply
:iconjadekrystal:
JadeKrystal Featured By Owner Apr 17, 2012  Student General Artist
I agree with you. Actually, I did my final project on insignificance in the face of the sublime.

Side note: I pictured the narrator as male~~
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:iconaclose123:
aclose123 Featured By Owner Apr 17, 2012  Student General Artist
that's really nice. I like it.
Reply
:iconmajinneda:
MajinNeda Featured By Owner Apr 17, 2012  Hobbyist
As I was reading it I noticed that it wasn't clear what sex the narrator was. I was thinking about that even before I read your description and saw your question about it. I think you definitely succeeded. Also, this was a very nice story.
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:iconfirefaerietalia:
FireFaerieTalia Featured By Owner Apr 17, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I definitely thought the narrator was a boy. So you needn't worry about it sounding too feminine.
Reply
:iconrmsully8:
rmsully8 Featured By Owner Apr 17, 2012  Hobbyist
It was a refreshing story and i really liked it!! i pictured the narrator as male (27-35ish..?)
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:iconunfinishedcastles:
unfinishedcastles Featured By Owner Apr 17, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
i thought the narrator was a boy
Reply
:iconmeatball02:
meatball02 Featured By Owner Apr 17, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
i actually feel the same way
Reply
:iconwindsweptspirit:
WindsweptSpirit Featured By Owner Apr 17, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I thought the main character was an older male, and that this was a chance encounter at a bus stop. This is a lovely piece, short yet poignant.
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:iconjonesey01:
jonesey01 Featured By Owner Apr 17, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Incredible!! That's a story that will stay with me for a long time!!!!
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:iconkampfly:
kampfly Featured By Owner Apr 17, 2012  Student Artisan Crafter
well that's quite a spin on it! i think i like that :D nicely written
Reply
:icondixiehellcat:
dixiehellcat Featured By Owner Apr 17, 2012
what a lovely little piece...like another commenter down there I thought the narrator was a guy too.
Reply
:iconatakiri:
Atakiri Featured By Owner Apr 17, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
I liked this a lot, and I understand how being insignificant can be comforting. I also like how it takes a non-conventional approach to talking someone out of suicide.

As for the narrator being "feminine" sounding, I actually thought it was a man the whole time until you mentioned it at the bottom, so I think your gender-neutrality worked well. : )
Reply
:icondoodelay:
Doodelay Featured By Owner Apr 17, 2012  Student Writer
Great story ^^

The last line does seem just a tad bit out of place though, but that's probably just me
Reply
:iconsilvereyedfreak01:
Silvereyedfreak01 Featured By Owner Apr 17, 2012
Beautiful I love it and u just made my day!
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:iconjustbecause62:
JustBecause62 Featured By Owner Apr 17, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I really like this. :thumbsup: :)

It's interesting, I actually was thinking the narrator was male. Dunno why. Maybe just because the other character is female and my mind wanted to balance it out.

Do you mind if I point out two little nit-picky things that you could fix? (They really are very minor. I just have a rather pedantic brain. :D)
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:iconcatluvr2:
catluvr2 Featured By Owner Apr 17, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
The second character seemed to be a part of the main character, if you know what I mean by that -- it seems as though she was a part of the main character's psyche, an outward manifestation of an unrealized desire or something. It's kind of interesting when you read it like that. Congrats on the DD! :+favlove:
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